Who are you?

We do come across individuals with spectacular pain tolerance. The interpretation that follows is that of their strength to endure it. While some are not able to do so. It is not all that is there to it. Different individuals have different mechanisms in coping with similar situations. Personality and emotions play a huge role in this as well. It is not unheard of that persistent coping and hiding of symptoms may be hazardous.

We first need to break down these behaviors. Some can be broadly placed as anxiety, nervousness, being tender-minded, over thinkers. There are also individuals who are the stark opposite of these. Those who refuse to acknowledge, find excuses to delay self-care and gratification. Those who are generally very nice. It is not just about expressing pain, it matters how one deals with it. Characters and pain go hand in hand. To understand this we need to be non-judgemental. The plight and mental make-up of the sufferer is more than what is visible to the naked eye. Depending on what they are at their core also affects their expression of pain

Scenarios may be helpful. You could wake up with a stiff and painful back or neck and as the day progresses you get better. You may wake up fresh as a daisy and by the time you lie down on the bed your whole back is sore. We find reasons. In the first scenario we could blame it on a bad position and in the second we could blame it on the physical stress. Now try and figure this out. Has your body been giving you signs of this fatigue? Why has it suddenly become a cause of concern? Why is it that a night of refreshing sleep is the reason for your stiffness? Why after having fun at work or going dancing like you have done every Friday night has become so painful. The traits above kick in at this point. Either the pain makes you so worried that you stop doing what you like and live in the fear that something may trigger this pain. You can also put on a brave face and say that this is just a nuisance that will get better because more important things need to be taken care of. Either of the above traits could be harmful. They may put you through a vicious cycle that may result in a long nagging pain cycle that could have been avoided.

There are two terms that to a certain level explain these traits. Harm avoidance and Low self-directedness. I came across these terms while reading an interesting article. Harm avoidance can be explained as the tendency to be fearful, pessimistic, sensitive to criticism, requiring high levels of reassurance. One tends to avoid situations even people that cause discomfort of any kind. Low self-directedness is where one falls short of motivating oneself and faces problems with adaptive coping. These are tools that empower a person to be more susceptible to fall into the trap of chronic pain. These traits are neither negative nor positive. These are just how a person is.

Coping is not a bad mechanism. But when it tends to harm you by not being able to identify and face the truth of the situation it turns into a foe that was supposed to be your friend. Self-assurance and finding the truth through awareness can be helpful. Awareness is your friend, don't shy away from it.